I am.
I can't sleep. Some of you know why, but it's largely unimportant.
What is important is that around 2am I noticed that I missed setting the UTC offset in Movable Type when I installed it, and that my first few posts occured 7 hours before they should have.
Unacceptable.
So, I just spent the last 20 minutes:
1) Diving into the MySQL tables
2) Deciding that these tables are a bitch to read with just the standard MySQL text client
3) Installing mysql-navigator on my server
4) Reinstalling Exceed on my workstation
5) Running mysql-navigator, only to find out that although it can display the data correctly, it really sucks at modifying said data
6) Rebuilding the correct queries in the text client to change the dates.
Voila.
P.S.
It was vitally important that I fix the timestamp on my Spaceballs: The Weblog Post entry.
And, of course... you could have just used MT's built-in functionality for this exact procedure...
Where's that at? I couldn't find it when scanning through the menus. "Change the time on this entry" didn't jump out at me anywhere.
I guess I could have just del0rt3d them and tried again, but the posts had to be moved backwards in time.
Oh, and it turns out that MT stores the "created on" and "last modified on" dates in different formates. One is a string, "YYYY-MM-DD HH:MM:SS" and the other is a number, "YYYYMMDDHHMMSS." Brilliant.
Aha, got it. Entries->"Open Power Editing Mode", which is possibly the sweetest name for a mode ever, except for the Super Pursuit kind.