Collectible autos: the Chrysler J and K

Jarrod asked for an article about the collectability of cars built on the Chrysler J and K platforms.

For the rest of this article, you all will have to bear with me.

The J and K platforms were launched in 1980 and 1981 respectively, and both underpinned such fine front-wheel-drive Chrysler automobiles as the Dodge Mirada and the Plymouth Reliant. The K platform, in particular, is one of the least imaginative automotive marketing schemes ever—all "K cars" were marketed as ... nothing more than K cars, and the only real differences were the badges on the back.

Now, the Reliant and its brethren are likely to be remembered as the crappiest of the crappy 1980s American econocars. In fact, I think that the only interesting thing about the K is the Chrysler minivan, which (along with the Renault Espace) really started the entire minivan market.

The J is slightly more interesting in that the 2^nd generation of the chassis was used in both the rather pedestrian Chrysler LeBaron and the odd TC by Maserati. The TC was essentially a regular LeBaron with upscale trim and engine but—get this—the TC was actually hand-built in Italy. It's astounding to think that Chrysler would put that much effort into assembling a car on a chassis that was so poorly engineered in the first place.

Collectability: None. Case closed.

On to the "how and why" of the J and K.

(+) They're everywhere. Cheap cars, cheap parts, cheap service.

(-) The interiors are total crap. Climb into the interior of a Dodge Aries and it's like you've been magically whisked away to a land of cheap switchgear set in vast expanses of poorly fitted hard plastic.

(-) They look like 1980s crap econocars. The styling on a K car is unmistakably cheap and American. These cars compete with the Chevrolet Celebrity in terms of uninspired looks.

(-) No performance. Just forget it. Not even the TC, with its exotic Italian heritage, accelerates or handles all that well. The times when these cars were designed weren't the best in terms of engine output, and Chrysler has never been known to make a genuinely well-handling car. Your typical Plymouth Reliant will make under 100hp and is saddled with a transmission geared so tall that getting all the way to 60 can be a real chore.

(-) Nobody ever bought one. The J and K cars are cars that people settle for. There's a big difference between settling for and buying a car.

I could go on and on like this, but I won't. There are crappy cars and there are disinteresting cars but as long as a car isn't both, it probably won't tank in value. Unfortunately, the J and K are both crappy and disinteresting.

Expect to pay: Don't. Unless you're paid to take one of these cars, it's not worth it.